The new pressure. In case it’s creeping up on you…

Topic : Daily Glimpses

Let me start this post off by stating what I am going to write about, I’m guilty of.

But I think it needs to be addressed.

Cause…it keeps being brought up.

And I keep asking others about it as well.

And I KNOW (or at least I feel) I need to stop.

Life is full on “next steps”, right?

“Where are you going to college”?

“What job are you wanting”?

“Are you two getting married”?

You get married. You’re settling in.

And then…the baby pressure begins.

When are you two having kids?

Now this is annoying.

And also painful if you cannot get pregnant when you want.
This was also us.
I wrote about it in some post that escapes me now but because of thyroid issues I could not get pregnant for some time.

Then you get pregnant.

Cheesy. And I still love this tank btw...
Cheesy. And I still love this tank btw…

Whoop! Whoop!

And then…

Baby.

Thrilled baby. Lifting up her top. Tummy bliss. :)
Thrilled baby. Lifting up her top. Tummy bliss. 🙂

And you’re going along.
Sleep deprived.
Poop on your arms.
LOVING it when you can catch your breath and enjoy.

And around this age…

Clarabelle at her 1st birthday.
Clarabelle at her 1st birthday.

And let’s be honest….WAAAY before.

People start asking when you’re going to have another.

And I do it too, folks.
Guilty.

And I’m over it.

I’m over asking and I’m over being asked.

Here’s why.

I think it breeds discontentment.

I HAVE a child.

I prayed, I ached, I wanted this child.

Do I want more children?
Yes.

Do I know if we can have more?
No.

Do I already question if we need to “try again”?
Yes.

Do I want you asking me about it?
No.

The added pressure of people speculating while my clock keeps tick tocking?
No.

And we do it without thinking, at least I do.

It’s a conversation piece.
A way to connect, to see what other people are doing.
And I get that.

I also know that for myself, life has not always worked as I have planned.

When I ask if someone wants another child, I don’t know about their fertility struggles.
I don’t know about the months of “trying”.
I don’t know about the financial strain.
Or the loss they suffered that they told no one about.
Or the fear they have about birth again.

Or maybe it’s the simple answer of “no”.

We don’t want more children.
And then the pressure to justify that.
You shouldn’t have to justify.

Cause all of these things are YOUR business.

All of these things are MY business.

So, I’m going to stop asking the question.
And I’m going to enjoy the child I have.

She's got a great swoop going with that hair, doesn't she? ;)
She’s got a great swoop going with that hair, doesn’t she? 😉

I know I’ll slip up and in all honesty, if we’re friends and the conversation goes there, I’ll be happy to talk “next baby”.

But I don’t want to pressure you about it.

Cause I know I already feel pressure.
And I don’t know how to answer the question.

Emma
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