“Sometimes I feel Stupid at Home”

Topic : Daily Glimpses

“Sometimes I feel Stupid at Home”

These are words my daughter spoke over the weekend.

A child had called her “stupid” at a birthday party.
That’s when she got a sad look in her eyes

Can I tell you how cruel kids are?

So. Cruel.

I can’t stand that she even knows the word stupid.
And that it would be directed at her.

And kids yell these things at each other.

All. The. Time.

I don’t get it.

“Sometimes I feel stupid at home.”

I hate that something about home would make her eyes dim, her energy fall.

And if I sit with it, I know what would make her feel this way.

Telling her she’s doing “unkind” things.
Probably makes her think she is “Stupid”.

Yelling “STOP” in veiled irritation when she yells in her brother’s face.
Probably translates into “STOP BEING YOU”.

My ego gets involved here.

I pride myself on being there for my children.
I mean, I co-sleep for fucks sake!
We don’t spank!
I speak in “feeling” words.

But now I feel like an asshole.

Even though I know I’m not an asshole.

Something about the dynamic is causing her to feel “stupid”.

Anytime I feel “stupid”, aka- irritated, tired, “over it”, angry, hangry, guilty, or otherwise “out of sorts”, I wonder how these uncomfortable places translate for her.

Maybe when I’m feeling “stupid”, she is too.

But those words haunt me now.


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