My son waits for Me

Topic : Breastfeeding

My son waits for me so he can fall asleep.

I see him as soon as I leave my daughter’s door.

I nurse him to sleep before I go in with her.
He always wakes up as I put him into his swing.

My husband goes in to rock him.
He used to fall asleep for him.

Now he waits.

“I love you, goodnight….
I love you.
Goodnight.
This is the last time…..
Goodnight, Clarabelle.”

I turn, look down the hallway.
His moon face is looking at me.
His neck craning to see where I am.

I walk towards them.
My husband still holding him.
I reach out and into my arms he comes.

“what are you doing, you silly boy?”

He smiles.

We settled back onto the bed.
He grabs my nose.
I pretend to eat his fingers.

“I love you”.
He looks at me, eyes unblinking.
His smile is softer.
We both know we’re where we need to be
My heart feels full.

He snuggles in,
Buries his face into my chest and arm.

I begin to sing,
“jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle allll the way”

He falls asleep.
That’s “his” song.

I think it’s because he’s a January baby.
He had months of hearing it in the womb.

From singing I move to humming.
Bouncing him, side to side.

I shut my eyes.
I wait for him.

HIs eyes close.

Breath softens.

Hand curls on my chest.
He’s asleep.
The day is done.

Emma
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