Merry Christmas Sleep Deprived Mom, This One is for You.
Topic : Breastfeeding
Where do I start?
The tree isn’t up.
Gifts are almost done.
I went to Target yesterday because I swore I wasn’t going to go next week.
We. Shall. See.
Basically, it’s Christmas time around here.
I do have a little gem to put out there for all you sleep deprived parents, especially the mamas.
I have a very freeing thing to share with you all.
My child doesn’t sleep through the night.
Feel better friends?
You’re not alone.
And here’s the deal.
I used to be really consumed by it.
One of my most popular facebook posts was me bragging that Clarabelle had slept through the night. It happened once.
It’s never happened since.
She’s going on 27 months (that’s over 2 years old for those that hate the math).
Here’s the liberating thing…this is o.k. with me.
IT IS OK WITH ME THAT MY CHILD DOES NOT SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT.
Are you shocked?
Should you sleep train me for my insanity?
Should I have another and THEN see how I feel?
Haha. No babies on the horizon folks.
I really wanted to put this out there, that it is o.k. for your child to not sleep through the night.
I have conversations with people on this, I overhear conversations of this, I have bought so many books on this, and I have finally decided and discovered, it’s o.k..
This is the question that is asked quite often, “well, is she sleeping though the night?”.
Or the brag you hear from parents, “well, she’s sleeping thought the night now so we’re great”.
Which may or may not make you feel like you are failing but it certainly might make you feel like you’re the only person that does have a child that doesn’t sleep through the night.
Fear not folks.
I’m here for you and I’m alright with my darling girl that kicks me in the face and asks for a boob.
You can join me if you choose.
Now…Clarabelle does sleep but she also wakes up so I get the task of settling her back down.
We have done nights of every hour nursing.
We have done sickness.
We have done “awake for 3 hours because she thinks it’smorning but it’s not and then she crashes at 5:00 a.m.”.
She has slept in the rock n play.
She has slept in the swing.
She has slept in the carrier.
Sleep in the crib.
Sleep in the bed.
Attempted naps on vacations.
Attempted sleeping during a move.
Admittedly nursing to sleep nearly every time she has gone to sleep
Here’s the thing.
I get to comfort her.
I get the late night snuggles.
I get to sing to her.
I get to feel her arms hug me at 2:00 a.m..
I get to be woken up with “mama, want to nurse”.
Or my favorite, “mama, I loooove you”.
And these are things I GET to do.
The little quiet things that make me her mom.
The moments that other people don’t get because this is what I do.
These things are priceless.
Whether it feels that way in that moment or not…the moments really are just for you.
As Clarabelle gets older my moments are shifting.
The moments are changing.
I don’t wear her on my chest and rock her to sleep for hours.
I don’t get to nurse her down for bedtime, she nurses and then babbles herself down.
What night was the last night I nursed her to sleep for bed?
I don’t know.
I do have the sweet memories of almost 2 years doing so.
She doesn’t fit on me quite as comfortably when we lay down for singing anymore.
But we are heart to heart right now and I recognize that this time, this honor of being the one to sing her to sleep will leave me at some point too.
I no longer wish for my child to sleep through the night.
She will soon enough and all my moments will be memories.
So, tired mama, don’t wish your time away too soon.
And know that there are others out there that know the long nights, know the challenge and also know that there is great privilege in doing the work that we do.