So how’s that all going, mama?

Topic : Breastfeeding

We’re having a sensitive day around here.

swing.
swing.

I love that description.

A “sensitive”day.

I heard it for the first time from a dear friend’s mama and it totally describes a more needy and clingy day.

And I totally get it. I have sensitive days too my friends!

2014-05-09_16-19-25_892

CBJ has ben having a rough few days, lots of nursing, lots of holding, lots of mama.

Nap nurse.
Nap nurse.

And I’m not complaining.

But when it’s 2 a.m. and then 3:00 a.m. and then 5:00 a.m….that’s a hard time to remain present.

But that’s what it is, you know?

I’m not needing a medal. I’m not needing a prize.

I’m needing a nap. 😉

I know it’s a phase but it’s been unexpected to have more nightly wake-ups and really long nursing sessions.
Although I’m happy we still nurse so I don’t have to guess what she’s wanting.

I hear her, from the darkness…”Mama, want some boobies.”.

For. Real.

She asks for boobies.

I know some might find this odd.
Or gross.

You know what I find it?

Adorable.

Straight up adorable.

Nursing changes as your child grows, I didn’t expect that.

I’ve always struggled with the changes but I’m SLOWLY learning to roll with it a bit more. I think I was so paranoid she was going to want to wean that I didn’t realize that nursing could change so much a the babe grows.

But here we are at 19 (and a half) months old and she’s asking for her “boobies” or “want some nursies…”.

She eats real food.
And she likes her nursies.

And right now going with it and letting her take her time when she nurses and take it as a real compliment that she wants to come to me for comfort (I have to remember this at 2:00 a.m. and at 3:00 a.m. and at 5:00 a.m.).

I write this as Mother’s Day just happened and I was reminded that I am a mom with a babe that’s closer to the age of two than one.

I’m also reminded that what I thought would happen with having a child isn’t what the reality is.

I get asked more and more about what it’s like nursing an “older” child. I use the quotes because really, a child over one isn’t “old”.

looking up at me. doesn't look like a "big girl" to me just yet...
looking up at me. doesn’t look like a “big girl” to me just yet…

I used to think a child over the age of one was “old” until I had a child and I realized that turning one isn’t a magic birthday.
It’s a birthday and the day after that birthday your child will probably still want the “boobies”.

It’s sad to me to realize that the time when she chooses to stop will most likely be within the next year or so.

What we have had for our corner stone will no longer be.

You know what I started doing?

I write her letters.

Letters about our nursing.

About our time together.

About the funny things she says when she pulls off to chat with me.

I write about watching her fall asleep.

About her being cuddled up against me.

I write about how much she means to me and about how much this special time means to me.

It’s a LOT emotional.

Don’t care.

It’s important that I put it onto paper.

I know my memory (it’s not great, it’s terrible actually) and she needs to know my words. My love. My memories.

So I write.

I take pictures (blurry, off center pictures).

melts my heart.
melts my heart.

And when I’m tired and “touched out”, I remember, the time is short.

The moments are there and then gone.

I roll over to go to sleep.

Or I leave to see if she can do “night night time”.

And then, I hear…”mama….want some boobies?”. 😉

xOxO

~em

Emma
FacebookGoogle+PinterestLinkedIn

You may also like...

Leave a comment

Comments

  • Meghann Parson August 27, 2014

    Emma, I have the same problem with Tess who is not quite 22 months. Still nursing and sometimes refuses to eat. We add raw sprouted protein to her smoothies. Not a huge amount but just a little. She will almost always eat eggs, pancakes and bacon (I'd very easily be ovolactovegetarian but Daddy is a meat eater) or eggs, guacamole, Brown rice and black beans. Or avocado. Those are my only two "go to" meals. And carbs. She'll eat cookies or crackers for days. Glad the doctor was supportive, I've been thinking about going there as well. I'm sick of the weaning conversation.

    • ReplyEmma August 27, 2014

      Scrambled eggs are a hit so I'm going to keep offering, avocado too.. I was impressed by Little Flower, it is so refreshing to be in a place that supports breastfeeding. Not a formula pamphlet in the place. And applause for continuing to breastfeed? Makes me want to go daily! It's far by driving standards (least from our house) but worth it to be able to not get hassled about parenting choices.

  • Bethany May 14, 2014

    Good job, mama!

    • ReplyEmma May 15, 2014

      :) thank you friend!

  • Lara October 18, 2013

    Wow, I'm so glad we aren't the only ones who have gone through all these ups and downs with nursing. G is still nursing strong at 14.5 months. There were times when I swore he was weaning himself (8/9 months, and I cried and cried), and nowadays lately he nurses like a newborn. Some days I have so much milk that I'm still spurting and needing nursing pads, other days I think he looks at me like, "Turn it on, mama!" I think the lesson after we have put all this time in it should be: our babies and our bodies know what to do! :)

Comments are closed.