Breast Feeding…are YOU the Selfish one?

Topic : Breastfeeding

Good morning!

Been up since quarter to 5:00, that’s when CBJ woke to eat (1st waking since 7:30 last night) and since we didn’t get finished till 6:00 (are we done? no…hanging out…nursing…NOW done…).

So I’m up.
Cause my alarm goes off at 6:30.

Gonna be a good day tater (please tell me SOMEONE gets my Ron White joke…).

I’ve been thinking about this post for awhile and now seemed like a good time to throw it out there.

I’ve written in a few posts that I’m still breast feeding CBJ and we introduced solids right at 8 months.

Solids are going…not as I expected.
I thought she would eat EVERYTHING. Or anything really.

“eating” our crackers

She’s not really into food and that’s alright with me, I’m still happy to be breast feeding and let me be honest, if she suddenly wanted to live on fruit and spread alone- I’d be upset.

Which brings me to the title of my post.

When Clarabelle turned 6 months old I felt a tremendous pressure to start solids.
Media, self, family….but it didn’t feel right.
So we didn’t.

And I was talking to my mom about it and she said something that stuck with me.

She ask me if I was being selfish by not introducing foods.
There was the thought that I wasn’t starting solids because I wanted Clarabelle to need me.
That I was holding her back.
Not letting her grow up.

I was surprised by the question and the thought that I was holding her back because of selfish reasons.
I was also hurt.
And made to question my choices as a parent.

That’s a big boulder to climb.

Do I want my child to need me so much that I am stunting her in some way?

And I thought about it.
And I still think about it 2 1/2 months later…

Am I a selfish mom?
To keep breast feeding with no forcing of foods.
I didn’t think so.
For me and our family, breast feeding is what has been working (and still is) thus far.

And is it wrong for infants to need their parents?
Specifically their mothers?
I think not actually.

I love that my child needs me AND that I need her.
That is the nature of relationships, mutual love and mutual need.

CBJ is rapidly growing I realize that some of my favorite moments with her have been breast feeding…

Some of my most challenging moments have also been breast feeding (she’s become kind of a chomper and I have a plugged duct- OUCH).

As I continue to breast feed I look at my relationship with her and the hours we spend on the boppy.
Just the two of us and I smile.
Things are changing, she “snacks” now and then is off to play. Her legs hang waay off and switching side to side is an arm workout. 😉

But whether I am being “selfish” or not, life is moving forward.
She’s getting bigger and more animated every day.

So do I think I’m a selfish mom because I keep breast feeding?
Do I think you have to start solids at 6 months?
Clearly not.
Do I care if I’m “selfish” because I want to keep our time together feeding in her darkened room round as long as I can?
No, and if I am…don’t really care.

I’ll leave this post with this thought- the days can be long but the time is so short.

I have never regretted the time I have had with my daughter.
The ability to feed her and spend time with her is so short, I see that more and more every day.
Be selfish with that time mamas.

umm…when was she that tiny?! 


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  • Meghann Parson August 27, 2014

    Emma, I have the same problem with Tess who is not quite 22 months. Still nursing and sometimes refuses to eat. We add raw sprouted protein to her smoothies. Not a huge amount but just a little. She will almost always eat eggs, pancakes and bacon (I'd very easily be ovolactovegetarian but Daddy is a meat eater) or eggs, guacamole, Brown rice and black beans. Or avocado. Those are my only two "go to" meals. And carbs. She'll eat cookies or crackers for days. Glad the doctor was supportive, I've been thinking about going there as well. I'm sick of the weaning conversation.

    • ReplyEmma August 27, 2014

      Scrambled eggs are a hit so I'm going to keep offering, avocado too.. I was impressed by Little Flower, it is so refreshing to be in a place that supports breastfeeding. Not a formula pamphlet in the place. And applause for continuing to breastfeed? Makes me want to go daily! It's far by driving standards (least from our house) but worth it to be able to not get hassled about parenting choices.

  • Bethany May 14, 2014

    Good job, mama!

    • ReplyEmma May 15, 2014

      :) thank you friend!

  • Lara October 18, 2013

    Wow, I'm so glad we aren't the only ones who have gone through all these ups and downs with nursing. G is still nursing strong at 14.5 months. There were times when I swore he was weaning himself (8/9 months, and I cried and cried), and nowadays lately he nurses like a newborn. Some days I have so much milk that I'm still spurting and needing nursing pads, other days I think he looks at me like, "Turn it on, mama!" I think the lesson after we have put all this time in it should be: our babies and our bodies know what to do! :)

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