Babysitter Rejection

Topic : Daily Glimpses

We left for the afternoon
She stood to watch them play.

I noticed her distance.

I thought everyone would read books, build with blocks, run around..no big deal.

We came home.

“How’d it go?”

She paused.

“She kicked me.”

My daughter had rejected her attempts to place her into time out.
The babysitter was “not used to” children not listening to her.

“She kept taking his toys away”

Doesn’t every kid take toys away from the other?

A wash of embarrassment came over me.

I began to judge my daughter in my mind.
Over the the disapproval of a stranger.

Why can’t she not yell.
Why won’t she stop when asked.
STOP KICKING.

I had left her with someone that didn’t like her.
Now I was abandoning her, too.

I asked, ““is that a deal breaker for you?”

“I would really have to think about coming back”

I really need a babysitter.

But I realized she would be forcing herself to come back.
to “gear up” to be with my child.

My heart softened for my daughter.
No one should be pushed into watching her.
Willed into playing with her.

I made a bad call.

Not a detrimental one.

But not the right one.
I should’ve stayed, I chose to leave.
And my child suffered the consequences.  

My daughter.
With her temper.
Her yelling.
Her outbursts.

Is amazing.
kind.
funny.
smart.

“Thanks for coming and have a good one,”
I told the sitter as I handed her a check.

As she began to walk to the car, my daughter called out,
“Huggie, Huggie”.
A half-hug is what she received.

“I really like your car”, my daughter said.
A non-engaged response was given.

My daughter.
 Is like a tidal wave.
She’ll  knock you down and make you feel like you have sand up your ass

And then be calm.
Collected.
Playful.

This woman didn’t want to be friends.
Or spend another moment with my child.

So here I am.
A mom without a babysitter.

Emma
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